I planned on taking my own life at the age of 32. I had it all mapped out and knew the location where I wanted to go through with it. Do I have your attention now? Please give this a chance and read it till the end.
I am writing this because, in scrolling through Social Media Platforms such as Twitter and Reddit recently, I am seeing a real uptick in people being depressed, suicidal, and worse. So I wanted to write this to tell you how I overcame and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Reflecting On A Very Sad Past
When I was 25 years old, I was severely depressed. If anyone on the outside saw me, they would have no idea that I struggled with a never-ending sadness that seemed to get worse as I grew older. Finally, I started to wonder if life was even worth living. I mean, if this sadness is what I have to look forward to as I get older, why not end my misery?
That’s when I began planning it, down to the smallest detail. Seeing the suicide hotline info on the top of a google search page became an everyday occurrence. I was seriously looking up different ways to do it to be successful…
Finally, A Change Starts To Happen Within Me
But a funny thing happened, age 32 came and went, and I was still here. I didn’t go through with it. But why? It was a massive part of my twenties; why let it pass if life was so miserable for me? Strange enough, I started to look around and see that the people around me were in just as bad a state.
I looked to my family, my friendships, and the people around me and began to see the same problems I struggled with weighing heavily on their shoulders. It was then that I realized I was so sad because I was living my life for myself instead of dedicating it to helping the people around me.
Sounds like some bs, right? I mean, how would focusing on others instead of myself help me? Well, I thought the same thing. But, for once in my life, I decided to try something different instead of giving into those feelings. I started by anytime I felt like the world was on my shoulders, and I knew I could easily express those feelings to others in a rude way, instead, I started treating people how I wished people would treat me and spreading happiness to anyone I met.
I Decided To Stand Up For My Family
Next, I went on a mission to figure out how everyone around me was doing. For so long, I had nothing inside of me to give to others, so I never bothered asking how others were doing. But now I began to see that my family was in disarray. The Elderly in my family were being completely ignored, and the younger ones were too sad to do anything to help. My response to this, of course, was Not My Family!!
I began dedicating myself to helping my family like never before. I mowed lawns, took people to see the doctor, checked up on them, and gave them groceries. And holy crap, I was finally starting to feel happy again!!! I was making a difference in the lives of the people I love. And even better, I became an example to the younger people in my family and inspired them to help as well!
Ways To Change Your Mind-state And Get Out Of Depression and Sadness
Self Help is another way to help the people around you. You wont be able to help anyone if you don't also take steps towards helping yourself. Here are a few other things that you can do that I promise will help if you try it consistently:
- Exercise every day. David Goggins told me to kick my own ass, and I promise you that I feel so blessed since I have been doing it.
- Eat the right food. You would be surprised how much fast food can affect your mental health. Instead, get fruits and vegetables in your diet and keep nutrition in mind.
- Practice Gratefulness. I know it sounds like some bs but stick with me for a sec. Every day, we wake up cursing the gods for forcing us to go through another day. But what if, instead, you flipped the script and thanked this world for giving you another day to exist? I love to say wow, I can’t believe this world gave me a yesterday AND a today; shit, if I get a tomorrow, it’s game over, baby!!! We Won!!
- Be the change you want to see in the world. At least for me, I would always look for help. For someone to come to rescue me from my sadness. But you have to understand that someone else just like you needs you to rise up and save them. You can be that person who changes their life and who they can look up to.
So, in conclusion, I wasn’t supposed to be here today to give you this message. But maybe I was given a second chance to leave you with these words; I love you. If nobody else around you tells you that, know that I do. And I am rooting for you. I know you will do great things. But don’t give up on yourself; that’s when you truly die in this world.